The president of the United States danced to the Village People, Wayne Gretzky struggled to pronounce the names of underdog soccer nations from Europe and the Caribbean — and the head of FIFA declared his governing body to be humanity's official provider of happiness. After Friday's ceremony began, it took about 90 minutes — the length of a regulation soccer match — for the draw to begin in earnest. President Donald Trump loomed over the proceedings, as expected, receiving a peace award from FIFA that seemed to have been created specifically for him.
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