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It’s a sad day when you can’t attend a proud ceremonial event like a high school graduation without having to deal with a lot of “drama”.
I attended my niece’s graduation this year where there were at least 300 seniors eagerly anticipating their next step in life – taking the plunge into the real world. The event was held in an enormous college arena. It was crowded, loud and very impersonal. I felt particularly bad as I spotted several frail-looking grandparents, aunts and uncles who were positioned in wheelchairs along a cold, black metal railing. They were being bumped into and passed over by inconsiderate rowdy teenagers attending what should have been a traditional, time-honored event. These elderly, patient and seemingly calm relatives just wanted a glimpse of a grandchild, niece or nephew experiencing one of the great milestones in their life.
The school program listed eight valedictorians (yes eight), and all of them would speak. It took forever to get to the actual calling of the graduates’ names. When they finally got to that part of the “ceremony”, nobody could hear because thousands of people were screaming at the top of their lungs, and horns were blaring all over the place. Those caught blowing the horns were quickly escorted out by police officers. A zoo would have been a more peaceful place.
Afterwards it took us over an hour to find my niece because of all the chaos. That night I vowed never to attend another high school graduation, but had to recant that statement after remembering that my son is two years away from finishing school. What a bitter-sweet thought. Maybe by the time he’s ready to don a cap and gown I will have recovered.
I read about one recent high school graduation, also held in a university gymnasium, where someone was actually killed – shot in the head. Officials said it was gang related and no one from the high school was involved. It was awful to say the least, and so sad.
It makes you wonder what happened to the good old days. What happened to graduations that were actually held at the high school you graduated from? Back when the person calling out the names waited until you received your applause, waved at your family, smiled at the camera, and had your diploma in hand before calling the next name? Remember the nice, respectful ceremony with no horns, loud screams or police protection? It would certainly be nice to be able to capture your child’s “moment” and remember it without all the other distractions. Guess that happens only on television.
It’s all about teaching and training our children how to act, not only at home, but in public too. They need to learn, basically, to respect other people, but most of all to respect themselves.
Until next time, let’s keep it really real.
BY DEE DEE
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by Dee Dee
We’ve all had water cooler discussions about our new president, Barack Obama, but what about our just-as-famous First Lady, Michelle… Is she fabulous or what? She has definitely got the right stuff. And lately she’s been the talk of the town.
Being the wife of the President comes with enormous challenges, even more so if you have children. You certainly must have the ability to effectively take multi-tasking to another level. Michelle Obama appears to be doing very well in that area. In the first two months since becoming our nation’s first African American first lady, Michelle has certainly not been sitting on her laurels. She has visited schools and read to children, walked the halls of the VA hospital, introduced herself to cabinet-level execs at federal agencies, served food in a soup kitchen, posed for her official White House portrait, given speeches to military wives, and planted a garden on the White House grounds. She’s also been applauded for her fashion choices, yet criticized for baring her arms. Yes, those long, beautiful, well-toned arms that have graced the covers of dozens of magazines – even the haters know they want them too.
One title that Michelle Obama cherishes is “Mom-In-Chief”. She is truly a hands-on mother, involved in every aspect of Malia and Sasha’s lives. Although she moved her own mother into the White House to assist in their care, Mrs. Obama was quoted during her husband’s campaign, saying her girls are “the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.” A lot of people have been critical about Mrs. Robinson (Michelle’s mother) moving into the White House. Surely these can’t be black folk doing the criticizing. We all know “Grandmama” helped raise many of us. When I first heard that the president’s mother-in-law would be moving into the First Residence, I gave one of my coworkers an Obama fist-bump and told her I would have done the same thing. The decision seemed to be good for everyone involved. Mrs. Robinson had already been helping to care for the girls back in Chicago, taking them back and forth to school during their father’s run for president. Furthermore, if your husband has the most high-profile job in the world, who wouldn’t need help with the children? And who better to help than your own mother?
The Obamas have amazed people they’ve met in person and millions of television viewers all over the world. They have stepped way outside of the box of the typical Washington political family, and they definitely don’t fit the mold of a traditional First Family. Michelle is as down to earth as they come. She’s not afraid to hug a head of state, or kiss her husband in public. She greets everyone with a genuine smile and makes them feel as if they are the most important person in the room. We all know the media has a way of showing people in a certain light, presenting a one-sided view of them and persuading us to believe a particular way about them. But I really believe in my heart that Barack and Michelle Obama are people who truly want to change America. They want us to see them as the real people they are, just like you and me. Remember when a reporter asked the President why it took a couple of days before he expressed outrage over the AIG bonuses? Obama looked him in the eyes and said confidently, "because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak." Then moved on to the next question. I absolutely loved it !
Michelle Obama has said she wants to make the issues of working mothers and military wives a top priority on her agenda. I think those are excellent choices to begin with. Working mothers need a role model, someone they can look up to and emulate. Michelle may be Ivy League educated, having attended Princeton University and Harvard Law School, but she is also well-grounded, experienced and in touch with the issues of working mothers. She is compassionate and caring, and military wives, many of them working mothers also, will be well served with Michelle as their advocate.
I am very proud that we have a first lady for the people. She is a champion for the underprivileged and that is just one of the many things that make her a phenomenal woman. She is the epitome of what this column is all about. She keeps it really real!
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by Dee Dee
The U. S. economy has been spiraling downward for a while now. Economists say it will get worse before it gets better. I personally know several people who have been affected by this recession. Some have lost jobs; some have lost their homes. It’s really bad, but I know there is a bright side in all of this. I’m very thankful that I still have my job; however, the financial grim reaper has come to my company’s door, too. Wages have been frozen and furlough days (days off without pay) are right around the corner. Both seem to be a precursor to the inevitable –
layoffs.
The collapse of our economy doesn’t seem to favor any particular sector – everybody has been touched. Small businesses, big corporations, the auto industry, manufacturing, the food industry, healthcare, retail, fuel, and so many more areas are feeling the pain. Families are hurting too. Inflation has caused the price of just about everything to go up, yet our salaries remain the same. Mothers and fathers are barely able to make ends meet. It’s a struggle just to keep a roof over your head, food on the table, and clothes on your back. These are the necessities of life that people are struggling with – food, clothing and shelter – they are not luxuries.
Everywhere you go the economy seems to be the topic of conversation. It has definitely changed the way we live. We are rethinking the way we do things now. Taking our lunch to work is much more economical (and smarter) than spending ten dollars a day eating out. Renting a flick from one of those $1.00 machines and purchasing microwave popcorn is far better than dropping $30 or $40 at a movie theater. When gas surpassed the $4.00/gallon mark last year, I even started taking public transportation to work. The price of fuel has decreased from those record highs now, but it’s good to know that option is still available when the cost of gas rises again.
This financial crisis seems to have brought people closer together. I guess it’s the fact that we all have a common dilemma, although on different levels. And when that happens, there is a desire to help one another. But we have to help ourselves before we can help each other. We should try to save more and spend less, and eliminate unnecessary spending altogether. Glamour is out and thriftiness is definitely in. We have to make sacrifices for the sake of our future.
It would be wise to share what we have with others who are not as fortunate. We cannot look down upon our neighbors who’ve lost homes and jobs and depleted their savings because we could be the next ones in that same situation.
Just a few days ago a man in his mid-50’s came in to my office looking for work. He wore a dark suit, sported a beard, looked tired, and appeared to be desperate. He informed me that he was a former general sales manager just recently laid off. He said he would be willing to take any entry-level position we had. Unfortunately, he didn’t have an appointment and we didn’t have any job openings. I kept his resume and tried to give him some encouragement and a little bit of hope.
As he drove away, I thought to myself, that could be me. One day employed, the next day driving around trying to find work. I imagined him with a family to support, yet going home with no success in finding work. How discouraging that must be for him. He was a white man…and if he’s having a hard time, I know what it must be like for our black brothers. Yes, we have an African-American president, but our society is not going to change overnight. It’s still hard out there for a brother.
We’ve got to keep on pressing forward and not give up. Defeat should not be in our vocabularies. There is a bright side in all of this. We are all just “going through”, and anything you go through you must come out of on the other side. So, I’ll continue to try to help anyone I can by cooking a meal, giving a ride, donating money or just giving them words of encouragement. I hope you’ll do the same. Let’s keep it really real!
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January 19, 2009
Barack Obama: A Man for All People
by Dee Dee
I sit writing this article on the eve of the inauguration of the first African-American president in the history of the United States. Ironically, it is also the day many across the nation are celebrating the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. – a man whose name is synonymous with the Civil Rights Movement. A man who dreamed of an America and a world where all men and women would be treated equally, based on the content of their character, not the color of their skin. Dr. King tirelessly fought for the rights of people of color, the oppressed and the down-trodden.
Much like Martin Luther King, Jr., Barack Obama is a man for all people. He is humble yet confident; he is gracious yet firm; and he is a peacemaker in every situation. People from every continent love him. He has been called a cultural icon, bringing hope where there is none. His election to the highest office in the world is an historic achievement that many of us thought would never happen. Thousands of martyrs have sacrificed, marched, protested, fought and died for equal rights in America, paving the way for Obama or anyone else daring to push the limits of success. It is on the shoulders of those giants that Barack Obama stands.
The journey has been long for Barack, and even longer for African-Americans as a whole. What began on a hot day on the West Coast of Africa some four centuries ago in packed-to-capacity slave ships, will culminate on a cold morning on the East Coast of America in our nation’s capitol.
As Barack Obama places his left hand on the Holy Bible and lifts his right hand towards heaven to take the oath of office, I can only imagine the thoughts racing through his mind. I imagine the pride he must feel, not only for himself, but also for all Americans – especially those who had enough faith and courage to cast a vote for him. Born of a white mother and a black African father, he is a product of the very two races of people who have battled each other in this country for hundreds of years. However, a bi-racial child of a single parent with an extremely controversial Arabic middle name, just may be the one that will bring order to this country in chaos. Maybe Barack Obama will show young black men how to dress for a job interview, how to treat a woman with love and respect, how to speak properly, how to take care of their children, and how to make peace with their enemies. Maybe Barack Obama will repudiate the stereotypical labels our white brothers and sisters have placed on us for years. Maybe he will be a role model for all young people.
When he utters those final words of the presidential oath, “So help me God”, I sincerely hope that he means what he says. Because he will need God’s help in leading this country – a country that is laden with two wars, insurmountable economic issues, unemployment, healthcare, infrastructure, education, energy, and racial problems. He will need godly wisdom, good counsel and the support of the entire nation. He will need the prayers of many.
I close by saying, Congratulations Mr. President! Today truly is a day to celebrate.
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by Dee Dee
The evening of November 4th is as fresh in my mind today as it was that incredible Tuesday night. The night Barack Hussein Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. It was unbelievable. When it was announced that he won the election, I threw my hands in the air and cried. I watched as the news anchors stumbled over their words – not even believing what they were saying themselves. I watched as a crowd of over 200,000 people in Chicago went absolutely crazy.
I thought about my parents. They could never conceive the idea of our country being led by a black man, a Negro. And truthfully, I never thought I would live to see it happen. I cried for my parents and for all of the martyrs who died fighting for justice and equality. I thought about all of the oppression, adversity, and hardships African-Americans have been through – slavery, the Civil Rights movement, Jim Crow, lack of voting rights, poverty, racial and economic discrimination, and so much more. None of it, however, will have been in vain when on January 20th 2009, Barack Obama, having broken so many barriers, will take the oath of office and become the most powerful leader in the free world.
The man himself is exciting. He is tall, good-looking, well-spoken, Harvard educated, yet street smart. He is patient, kind, and humble, down to earth, funny, and passionate about serving others. But most of all, he cares about people. He is a different kind of politician; a different kind of leader, and it is definitely time for a change.
Obama won the popular vote in addition to a landslide electoral victory. The excitement kept me up way past 1:00am election night. People were text-messaging me like crazy. I think the entire world was text-messaging. I remember receiving one from my daughter. All it said was “OMG!!!!!!”. I knew she was ecstatic. It was a phenomenal moment, and truly something to shout about. I think I said about a thousand “Thank you Lord’s” back-to-back. Even though I stayed up late, I had an unusual amount of energy the next morning. I jumped out of bed, and immediately began to pray and thank God. “We have actually elected a black president”, I said to myself.
Although Obama’s achievement was unbelievable to many, “Yes We Can” was his mantra throughout the campaign, and he has shown all of us – black, white, Hispanic, Asian, or other, that we absolutely can succeed if we have the discipline and determination not to give up. Yes we can live in a single parent home and become successful. Yes we can get the best education if we want to succeed. Yes we can care about our community and those who live in it. Yes we can treat people with respect. Yes we can set our sights beyond our circumstances and achieve our dreams.
Thank you, Barack Obama for never giving up on your dream. Thank you for being an example of success for children everywhere, especially little black children, who grow up without fathers and wonder what their future holds. Thank you for loving your beautiful wife, Michelle and your adorable daughters Malia and Sasha, and for showing black men how to love their families. And finally, thank you for Keepin’ it Really Real!
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by Dee Dee
Wow, an African-American candidate for president of the United States. A Black man. We are not imagining this. We are not dreaming this. This is real. Barack Obama is days away from being elected the next president of the United States. What would your great grandparents think about what’s happening today? Could they have even conceived it? My mother died just six years ago and she didn’t think it would ever happen.
This has been the most interesting, informative, and exciting campaign I’ve ever taken notice of. If I were a junkie, CNN would be my drug of choice. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t get my election coverage fix. On one hand, I hunger for all of the information that’s constantly changing on a daily basis; and on the other hand, I’m so sick of it I could scream. It’s intensely draining – just watching the candidates day after day, rally after rally, speech after speech. The political pundits add to the drama going back and forth about what this candidate should do and what that one should do. This has been going on for almost two years, but we love it, don’t we?
I was so upset when I couldn’t find the issue of Ebony magazine with Obama on the cover looking oh-so-cool in dark sunglasses. The night he won the nomination, I stood in my living room with a digital camera taking shots of the TV – it was history in the making. Later during the Democratic convention, I cried during his acceptance speech.
Obama was catapulted into the national spotlight while speaking at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, but that famous speech is not what made him who he is. Long before that night, he was a man of strong principles, integrity, and good character - something that the Republicans are trying to destroy. They say he is a Muslim, he’s unpatriotic, he’s inexperienced. They say he has no foreign policy experience, no executive experience. And they have other weapons in their arsenal: Obama’s associations with Bill Ayers, Tony Rezko, and of course the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Obama has withstood the attacks of the Clintons during the primaries, and is still standing after all that John McCain has unloaded.
McCain is behind in the polls, and in these last days before the election, I’m expecting machine-gun type warfare. I expect “race” to progress from the undercurrent to the front page. This is something America has never faced before – a Black man within inches of the Oval Office, as leader of the most powerful nation in the world. Even one of McCain’s supporters at a recent rally asked, “how can this be?” I’m sure McCain himself is asking, “how can this be?”
If Barack Obama can make it to the White House, every young African-American male and female can have the same aspirations without ever doubting whether it can happen or not. Some people have asked, “why should I vote for Obama, what will he do for me when he’s president?” It’s not what he will do for you…it’s what he’s already done. He has reached a place that no other person of color has. He has made our children’s dream a reality. Now that’s Keepin’ it Really Real. Go Vote!
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by Dee Dee
I vividly remember opening night of one of Tyler Perry’s films. After dinner, my husband and I had agreed to meet some friends at the movies. We sat in our seats, quietly talking amongst ourselves like others in the crowded theater, while several movie trailers played on the screen. As soon as the lights dimmed, we all stopped our chatter, settled back in our seats and focused on the screen to enjoy the movie.
Prior to the movie’s introduction, we heard a woman say in a calm voice, the same words that were printed on the screen: “Please turn off all cell phones and pagers. Recording devices of any kind are strictly prohibited. Thank you. We hope you enjoy the feature presentation.” I checked my phone to make sure it was turned off. It was on vibrate mode, so I turned it off completely. There, in the darkened theater, just to my left on the row ahead of me, I could see a distracting light from an open cell phone. A young girl was text messaging someone, clicking keys and oblivious to everyone around her. Didn’t she hear the announcement that said to turn those devices off? Doesn’t she know that light is annoying? Totally unaware of my frustration, she kept right on texting.
The movie began and I decided to forget about her somewhat small act of defiance. Then out of nowhere a large silhouetted figure appeared in front of me, trying to find a seat next to Cell Phone Girl. The woman just kept standing there holding an overloaded tray of drinks, popcorn, candy, and who knows what else. Holding the tray high in the air, she looked to her left, then to her right, then down behind her as if waiting for someone to pull the seat cushion down. I thought to myself, Someone please help her so she can sit down. Finally, “Boyfriend” to the right noticed her dilemma and held the cushion down. She sat, uncomfortably in the small seat, and a few seconds later, bam! Product distribution time. She started handing off sodas, popcorn, candy, napkins, straws and money, to her left and right. The sound of change hitting the floor made everybody look down. I’m thinking, Please settle down people. I just want to watch the movie in peace.
When everything seemed to calm down, there it was again – another light. This time it was a Bluetooth light blinking from the head of the woman who’d just sat down. I told myself, it was just a minor distraction, and tried to block it out, but that tiny, bright blue illumination kept blinking on and off, and on and off. I started looking around the theater and noticed similar lights blinking from other people’s heads. I could actually hear people talking all over the place. Children were whining and babies were crying. People were walking up and down the aisles. One man yelled out from the back in a loud voice, “Shut up down there!!”
When something funny was said on screen, the crowd laughed hard, loud and long, which meant you missed the next few lines after that. Shouts of “You go girl!” filled the theater. I heard several, “Oh, no he didn’t just say that.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it when people can get into and enjoy a good movie, but these people were downright obnoxious. They showed no respect for those of us who had hoped to see a movie in a somewhat pleasant and relaxed environment.
Unfortunately, I have to say the movie was filled with African-Americans. There may have been one Caucasian in the theater. He must have been the movie critic who wrote the rather bland review in the newspaper the next day. In fact, when I read the review the next morning, the critic wrote that based on the loud, laughing outbursts from several movie patrons, he assumed the movie was funny. However, he wouldn’t be able to give a proper assessment until he saw the movie a second time, in different surroundings. We all know what that means.
C’mon people. If we would quit trying to bounce and soothe our crying babies, who shouldn’t even be there in the first place, maybe someone could enjoy a good film. What’s wrong with getting a babysitter before you go to the movies? And turn off your cell phones, for no other reason than this: because they asked you to. When you’re talking during the movie, everybody around you can hear you – and we don’t want to. Some of us like to actually hear the movie. Can’t we try to have just a little class about us? If being considerate of those around you is too much to ask, then let me put it another way, like Mama might say: “Quit acting a fool and act like you got some sense.”
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
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by Dee Dee
Remember the old saying, “Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?” In many conversations with my mother, God rest her soul, she said that to me. My sister and I laugh about it now, because we never really knew what it meant until we became adults. We both wondered why Mama used to talk to us about cows and milk. It just didn’t make sense to us at the time, but now, we get it. We even passed that familiar-sounding metaphor on to our own daughters because it still rings true today.
The way young girls dress in today’s society will make any mother ask that old rhetorical “Why buy the cow…” question. They wear clothing that reveals so much skin nothing is left to the imagination. They don’t play hard-to-get anymore, but freely “give it up” on the first date. Where is the self-esteem? Where is the self-respect? If it’s attention they want, they are certainly getting plenty of it. These inappropriate wardrobe decisions teach an even younger generation that in order to be liked and accepted, you need to dress provocatively. That is so far from the truth.
Black women, in general, have been blessed with physical attributes that men have lusted after, and women from other cultures have envied, for quite some time. We have now evolved to the point that there is no shame in literally showing off anything and everything, and we think it’s okay. Young girls wear see-through blouses with no bras. They wear jeans that barely cover their butt, and skirts so short that panties, if worn at all, are in full view. Their stomachs are out in the open; the necklines are plunged so deep that cleavage screams hello. And of course, those ever- present thongs are all the rage – they are definitely a must-see item. Then we tilt our heads, put our hands to our chins and stare out into space wondering why rape, sexual abuse and teen pregnancy are on the rise. Hello Somebody?
Hollywood and the entertainment industry definitely don’t help the cause, as they are some of the worst offenders as far as setting examples for young people. They seem to set the tone for fashion and behavioral standards. If so-and-so wears it, it must look good. If so-and-so does it, it must be okay. If Lil’ Kim wants to wear tassels on her nipples instead of a bra, does that mean I should too? If J-Lo wants to wear a scarf for a dress, do I have to? I don’t think so.
“Appropriate Dress” should be a part of every school’s curriculum, for young ladies as well as young men. It should be taught in the churches and it should be listed as a key job requirement in the hiring process for any position. First and foremost, however, it should be taught in the home. Parents need to set the standard for their children and be the final decision-makers where wardrobe and attire are concerned. Don’t let your teenager leave the house looking like a hoochie mama or a thug. That’s how they’ll be treated, and may be what they will become.
There must be teaching and mentoring done with our young girls. We have to let them know that self-respect is not derived from a scantily clad outward image. Let them know that a video vixen or Playboy centerfold should not be a career aspiration. They should be taught that beauty comes from within, and respect for one’s self will win the respect of others, even the young brothers they are trying so hard to impress.
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
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A Future on Hold
by Dee Dee
I recently had the chance to speak in depth with a 20-year-old unemployed single mother, who lives in the housing projects with her two-year-old son. Melissa* had a nonchalant, indifferent attitude about her living situation and about life in general. However, she was very opinionated and vocal about her parents, and more specifically her mother.
The first time I met this young lady was in 1994. She was a cute seven-year-old then, who came from a typical middle-class family. At that time, I could only envision great things for her. Unfortunately her life took a turn in another direction. After graduating from high school, Melissa ended up pregnant. I don’t know the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy or if the father of the baby is even in the picture today. I do know her parents were very disappointed in the way things turned out, and life at home became an ongoing battle. A battle Melissa did not want to deal with on a daily basis, leading her to move out on her own.
How did this smart, beautiful high school graduate with dreams, and goals end up an unwed mother, unemployed and on welfare? Surely Melissa must bear some responsibility for what has happened to her, but her parents should also be held accountable, at least to some degree. I am not writing as an advocate or an opponent of birth control, but I will say that in this day and age, an unwanted, accidental pregnancy should never happen. Likewise, the principles of sexual abstinence should be taught in every household, but unfortunately they are not. Teenagers should not be having sex – period. Nevertheless, in this case, as in many others, a child was born.
Melissa’s first mistake was having pre-marital, unprotected sex. Her second unwise decision was moving out of her parent’s home. Whether she thought it was a loving home or not. It was home. “But I couldn’t take the nagging everyday”, she told me. “My mother got on my case about everything. She never had anything positive to say to me.” Now, Melissa lives in fear of being shot. She told me she constantly thinks of “catching a stray bullet” because of the frequent drug activity and shootings that happen near her apartment. She would rather put herself and her child’s life in danger to avoid hearing her mother’s nagging. She’s even talking about getting a gun; something I strongly advised her against. Melissa’s mother is understandably distraught over the fact that her daughter lives in the projects, and constantly asks her to move back home. “I’m never moving back in with them”, she said. My advice to her was to lose the pride and go home. She must consider the child’s well being, because right now, he should come first.
This whole scenario should be a lesson to parents and young girls everywhere. Mothers and fathers, talk with your children about the consequences of unprotected sex. Be firm and emphatic, but also loving. Teach and train your children, don’t provoke them with negative comments and constant nagging, which will only push young people away. Also, teach them to love and respect themselves. Be constructive if you must criticize, and tell them about your own experiences. Speak from your heart, but don’t berate and belittle them. And lastly, but certainly not least, pray for them and help them come up with solutions to let them know you want the best for them. If they still choose to make unwise decisions, you can find comfort in knowing that you did all you could. Allow God to do the rest.
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
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Hollywood Bad Girls
by Dee Dee What do Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie all have in common? Well, that’s an easy question. A harder question might be – what don’t they have in common? Their bad-girl behavior in the last year or so seems to be the norm for young 20-something females in Hollywood. Their money, fame, or in some cases, lack of it, makes them prime targets for front page articles, magazine covers and headline TV news. It wouldn’t be so bad if the news was good news. But, everything we read, see and hear is mostly negative. What these young ladies (and I’m stretching the ladies part) call having a good time, looks more like, let’s see which one of us can get arrested first.
What can our young black females learn from these four out-of-control rich girls? I say a whole lot. For starters, getting drunk is not cute. Getting drunk in public is even uglier. At least three of the young starlets mentioned above have been caught driving while intoxicated. That’s not cool at all. And, if I might speak directly to our young people – you could be killed, leaving behind grieving parents, siblings and other family members. If you’re not the one to perish behind the wheel of that 2,000-pound piece of steel, then someone else could be killed. It’s very tragic that someone’s life would be taken because of a few dollars worth of alcohol, but to also have to face a vehicular homicide charge and possibly a wrongful death lawsuit makes matters much worse. It’s just not worth it.
Secondly, going to jail is stupid. Hiring someone with a record is not a top priority for employers. They do conduct background checks, you know. Most of our young African-American females do not have the exceptional wealth of Paris Hilton, and access to high-priced, powerful attorneys. They need to work for a living. Not many of our young ladies could get out of jail and head straight for an appearance, paid or not, on a top-rated talk show. Why would any of us want to mimic the behavior of these reckless individuals? They may have good intentions, but the decisions they make are imprudent to say the least.
So, young ladies, please use some wisdom when it comes to the choices you make. Try your best to be conscious and aware of how you carry yourself. Better yet, if you ever find yourself in a situation that appears to be heading towards that of an undesirable nature, quickly come up with Plan B. Think about Paris-Lindsay And Nicole-Brittany. The image of their mug shots alone should move you to a new level of intelligence. That means using your head when you go to hang out with your friends. Don’t put on a dress that’s so tight you can’t even pinch the fabric, or so short that you leave nothing to the imagination. If you must drink, don’t drink to the point of inebriation. And, never, ever drive if you’ve consumed alcohol. I know, some of you have one or two drinks and think it’s okay to drive. Now just for a minute, I want you to think about someone running a red light and you have one second to react and slam on your breaks. That one drink just might slow your reaction time from one second to three seconds. One drink could mean life or death to someone. It’s dangerous and the risk is just too high.
Finally, don’t let people make you do something you don’t want to do. We can get ourselves into more trouble listening to our so-called friends. Try listening to that inner voice, your gut, or your heart. If it tells you not to do something, then by all means, don’t do it. Now, that’s good advice for all of us.
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
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Welcome to the first of many columns related to issues concerning the African-American community. The purpose of this column is to motivate, inspire, educate and empower black Americans to realize our true value and self-worth.
I’m writing this column because I want to talk about our culture and our history. I want to uplift, inspire and motivate. And, in the process, I might learn a few things myself. To tell you just a little bit about me, first and foremost, I’m a black female, married Christian who fears and reverences God. This is not a column about religion, and I won’t force my religious beliefs on anyone, but I will be writing from that viewpoint and perspective. Now, with that said…I do care deeply about the state of African Americans in this country, and if just one person can be helped by reading this column, then that is one less negative statistic in our beloved community.
African-Americans, in general, are perceived among whites and other nationalities and ethnic groups as a race that just can’t get it together. They say we have no unity and no loyalty. That’s harsh, but for the most part, true. Our children need education, discipline and mentoring. Our women and elders need respect, love and honor. Our black males need to be esteemed, empowered and embraced. It’s not that we don’t know what’s plaguing our communities – we do. We’re lagging behind in education, and employment opportunities. AIDS, poverty, drugs and violent crimes are on the rise, and to put it plainly, our value system is just messed up. We are the nations biggest consumers, yet our net worth is diminutive.
How can we change directions, improve our reputation, and amend our global image? I don’t have all the answers, but bringing real issues to the forefront and promoting dialogue is a start. However, we must do more than talk. That’s when the motivation piece kicks in. I hope to motivate you to do something in your communities. Help the poor, feed the homeless, mentor a child, or buy some young boy a belt! Let’s lift each other up. Let our mantra be “Each One, Help One.” That’s how we can change things.
In the future, you may see articles about tattoos, grills, baggy pants and bandanas. I might go from writing about tight-skirt-wearing hoochie mamas, to old folks trying to be young. One article might be geared towards single parenting and another on daddies who do pay their child support.
There are so many topics of concern to write about and discuss – the sky is the limit. I want this column to be fun and humor-filled, but also serious and forthright. I want to help bring some dignity, style and class back to the black community. But, most of all, I want to keep it really real.
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
( Click "Comments" below and let us know your thoughts !)
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