by Dee Dee
Remember the old saying, “Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?” In many conversations with my mother, God rest her soul, she said that to me. My sister and I laugh about it now, because we never really knew what it meant until we became adults. We both wondered why Mama used to talk to us about cows and milk. It just didn’t make sense to us at the time, but now, we get it. We even passed that familiar-sounding metaphor on to our own daughters because it still rings true today.
The way young girls dress in today’s society will make any mother ask that old rhetorical “Why buy the cow…” question. They wear clothing that reveals so much skin nothing is left to the imagination. They don’t play hard-to-get anymore, but freely “give it up” on the first date. Where is the self-esteem? Where is the self-respect? If it’s attention they want, they are certainly getting plenty of it. These inappropriate wardrobe decisions teach an even younger generation that in order to be liked and accepted, you need to dress provocatively. That is so far from the truth.
Black women, in general, have been blessed with physical attributes that men have lusted after, and women from other cultures have envied, for quite some time. We have now evolved to the point that there is no shame in literally showing off anything and everything, and we think it’s okay. Young girls wear see-through blouses with no bras. They wear jeans that barely cover their butt, and skirts so short that panties, if worn at all, are in full view. Their stomachs are out in the open; the necklines are plunged so deep that cleavage screams hello. And of course, those ever- present thongs are all the rage – they are definitely a must-see item. Then we tilt our heads, put our hands to our chins and stare out into space wondering why rape, sexual abuse and teen pregnancy are on the rise. Hello Somebody?
Hollywood and the entertainment industry definitely don’t help the cause, as they are some of the worst offenders as far as setting examples for young people. They seem to set the tone for fashion and behavioral standards. If so-and-so wears it, it must look good. If so-and-so does it, it must be okay. If Lil’ Kim wants to wear tassels on her nipples instead of a bra, does that mean I should too? If J-Lo wants to wear a scarf for a dress, do I have to? I don’t think so.
“Appropriate Dress” should be a part of every school’s curriculum, for young ladies as well as young men. It should be taught in the churches and it should be listed as a key job requirement in the hiring process for any position. First and foremost, however, it should be taught in the home. Parents need to set the standard for their children and be the final decision-makers where wardrobe and attire are concerned. Don’t let your teenager leave the house looking like a hoochie mama or a thug. That’s how they’ll be treated, and may be what they will become.
There must be teaching and mentoring done with our young girls. We have to let them know that self-respect is not derived from a scantily clad outward image. Let them know that a video vixen or Playboy centerfold should not be a career aspiration. They should be taught that beauty comes from within, and respect for one’s self will win the respect of others, even the young brothers they are trying so hard to impress.
Until next time, lets keep it really real!
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