Every Black Woman’s Worst Nightmare
Due to some unexplainable cause, New York City, where I am humbly based, has been drenched with torrential downpours for the better part of the summer. Although, this particular summer of rain benefits the many jobless folks dreading the combination of sunny summer days and empty pockets, overall it's a tad depressing, something like the recent trend of celeb make-ups to break-ups. Be forewarned, this post is for my ladies.
So a couple weeks ago, I read about Richard Jefferson, the NBA player who stood up his bride on their wedding day!! Yeah, so um needless to say, my heart sunk as I began to read all the sordid details. No, I've never met Kesha Nichols a day in my life, but as a woman as well as a future bride, wife, and mother (God Willing), I cannot begin to fathom just what I'd do if my husband-to-be stood me up on our wedding day and left me to break the news to my family and friends. Stop the press!
Subsequent reports have attempted to separate the facts from fiction, one of which has Richard Jefferson offering up his own version on what led to the wedding day fall-out. “We'd been arguing non-stop,” he stated at a press conference. “There was a lot of screaming and crying.” Yes, that sounds like somewhat of a legitimate excuse. However, the conspiracy theorist in me believes it could have been compounded by a little more than pre-wedding-day tiffs.
I'm not sure about you guys, but this recession has forced me to rethink all the things in my life, which I had previously deemed necessary or significant. Besides rethinking my weekly run to Chipotle for a burrito bowl with all the trimmings, which has subsequently become a monthly run, it also forced me to reevaluate the people in my life, especially those closest to me.
Did Richard Jefferson have this same sudden recession-induced epiphany? Were the would-be newlyweds arguing about a few trivial details related to the wedding, which led to the NBA player reevaluating his future vows? Or could it be—like a good number of Black men before him—he was "pressured" into to this engagement because Kesha was too busy fortifying her own agenda, namely settling down as quickly as possible during these difficult times?
Six figure settlement or not, the former cheerleader is going to have a chip on her shoulder for some time to come. You just don’t get up and “brush the dirt off” when you’ve been stood up by your NBA player fiancé. With some media reports speculating that he could be playing for the other team, literally, which he vehemently denies—“That’s the furthest thing from the truth, and it sort of pissed me off"—I think we should give Richard the benefit of the doubt, and chalk this one up to the recession… at least partially.
This past week, a fellow blogger pal, NWSO, wrote a blog entitled “Recession Depression,” where he talked about the effects the recession has had on him as a single Black male. Coincidentally, a recent BBC article highlighted a study conducted this year by the Mind charity group in the UK, which found that 40% of men admitted to exhibiting a severe case of “recession blues.” The study also concluded that men were less likely than women to seek help for their depression. Furthermore, Black men were much more likely to suffer disproportionately than their white counterparts, not only mentally but also emotionally.
I wonder if this could have happened to Richard Jefferson in the month preceding his wedding. I’m not excusing what he did at all, but the NBA player was, in fact, traded to the San Antonio Spurs this past June. Could the uncertainty about his future, like so many of us in the recession, caused him emotional stress and subsequently led to the wedding cancellation? It’s possible.
But what are your thoughts on this incident? Do you think Richard Jefferson could have showed a little more tact in breaking off the engagement? Would you have accepted the six-figure settlement if you were Kesha Nichols? How do you think you would have handled being stood up on your wedding day?
~Trés Ink
